


Marvel One-Shots

by sweatersarecomfyy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, One-Shot, Other, Romance, Soulmate AU, character x reader, soulmate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25900963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweatersarecomfyy/pseuds/sweatersarecomfyy
Summary: This is a collection of my marvel character x reader one shots. So far I have done fics for Loki, Bucky, and Steve. Generally my 'reader' is fairly nondescript, when I do use pronouns I use she/her.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Loki (Marvel) & Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Steve Rogers & Reader, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. They Don't Want Me (Steve x reader)

I am one of the lucky 2% of the population that did not find their soulmate by the age of 23. I also happen to be one of the lucky few people who ended up with some sort of super power. It had happened in the first year of college in a Bio lab and now I could shapeshift. After hiding the secret for four years and graduating, Tony Stark had found me out and hired me, tearing me from my desired job as a doctor, and making me a member of his earth-saving heroes, the Avengers.

If you hadn’t found your soulmate by my age there were only a few reasons why: your soulmate was dead, they lived really far away, or they just didn’t want you. I had done the research and paid good money for soulmate-mark matching sites, but no one in the world had logged an exact match and no death certificates showed the same mark, so I figured my soulmate didn’t want to find me. I haven’t gotten over it, but I have learned to live with it, and try to ignore the sunburst pattern on my inner arm that was so obviously on display for the rest of the world to see.

“These are your new teammates,” Tony guided me into a room and gestured to a small group of people I recognized from the news. I gulped.

“Nice to meet you,” Natasha shook my hand and I nodded.

The others had similar greetings, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the last man.

“Welcome to the team,” He said. Along with the handshake he also clapped me on the shoulder and smiled genuinely, his blue eyes sparkled. He looked down at my arm and his brow furrowed slightly as he took in my soulmate mark.

“Yeah,” Was all I managed to get out before feeling my face get hot and turning away so that he couldn’t see my awkwardness.

***

The next day was all training. Shapeshifting had it’s perks when it came to exercise. I could be as weak or a strong as I wanted to. I started shifting to be taller and more muscular as I saw that my first trainer would be Steve.

“No powers,” He said, smirking.

“No fair, you get to use yours.”

“I can’t help it,” He chuckled.

I folded my arms.

“Look, I want you to train as yourself so that you can get the moves down before you get to use your powers. Is that fair?” He questioned.

I nodded. “I see your point,” It was going to be very hard to concentrate on learning to fight with the captain teaching me. For the first time in my whole life I found myself being drawn toward another soul. I didn’t know how it could be possible, I knew about his soulmate, about his history and how he had gotten to this point in time. It was probably nothing. Hormones maybe, just attraction. He couldn’t be my soulmate, he saw my mark, he would have said something.

“Got it?” He asked.

I snapped myself out of my thoughts and realized that I hadn’t heard anything he said, but I nodded anyway, not wanting to lose face on my first day. Luckily, he demonstrated with Nat before he got back to me again, so I could understand what was happening.

And so the days went on. Training, honing my powers, getting to know my teammates and the occasional missions. I got used to it. It was a nice type of life, even if it wasn’t the life I wanted.

***

“So, have you found your soulmate yet?” Nat asked, lounging on the couch against Bucky, sipping a drink.

I shook my head, “I don’t think they exist.”

“How do you know? You could still find them.” Sam chimed in.

I laughed shallowly and glanced at Steve. He was staring off into the distance, “They are either dead, or don’t want to find me. I’ve tried everything,” The room had an awkward silence. “It’s ok,” I said, “I’ve learned to live with it.”

“Well, if you want to find someone, you know, to be with, there are places you can go with similar experiences.” Nat said, “Steve has gone to some, he can tell you.”

I glanced back at Steve, who suddenly stood up and left the room. I watched until he walked out.

“Didn’t he, you know, have a soulmate?”

“Pretty sure,” Nat nodded, “He doesn’t like to talk about it much, but he did have a girl way back when.”

I inwardly groaned. There was no way we were soulmates then, but if his had died, maybe there was a chance… We had become very good friends over the past couple months. But, I was new, awkward, and consistently trying to squash my silly crush on the captain. It was stupid.

***

“You want some help?” I asked him, he was alone in the training room.

He stopped for a moment and smiled at me, “What, sorry”

“You want someone to spar with?” I clarified.

He beamed, “I don’t know if I can hold up against you.”

I had mastered my powers and was pretty good against most of the Avengers, “What if I don’t use my powers?”

He considered it for a moment, setting his hand on the punching bag, “Alright.” He gestured for me to come over.

We started sparring lightly, talking in between the punches.

“So how have you liked your time here?” He said, dodging me.

I shrugged and squared up to him again, “It’s got it’s perks,” I grinned, spinning around as he lunged.

He gave me a meaningful look, “How do you really feel?”

We both landed a few hits, but I was huffing at all the movement I had been forced to do just to dodge him.

“I’m fine, really, I just—”, I punched, “I dunno,” I took a breath, centering myself. He lunged and I took his arm and flipped him onto the floor, holding him down with my knee, “It’s like I don’t exist.”

He knocked me over by destabilizing my knee, “What do you mean?”

I relaxed for a moment to answer him, “As soon as I moved here, it’s like my friends won’t even talk to me anymore. I was worried that they were going to start using me for my position in the Avengers, but it is the exact opposite. They don’t even talk, I don’t know which is worse.”

I tried to use the moment of sympathy on his face to distract him and flip myself over, but he was too quick and pinned my arms down over my head, moving himself to hover over me. He grinned triumphantly. I tried not to think how close our faces were, or how sweaty and gross I probably was right now.

I saw him glance at my wrist and moved his hand down to look at my mark.

“They don’t exist,” I stated.

He furrowed his brow.

“My soulmate, they don’t seem to exist, that’s what you were wondering, weren’t you?”

He moved to my side and laid down on the floor next to me, “Sorry,” he said awkwardly.

“Don’t be, it’s not like it’s your fault,” I sighed, “I suppose you understand more than anyone.”

I glanced over at him and he nodded, “I didn’t have one, back then, never found them.”

“Didn’t you have, you know—” I started.

He laughed, “Sort of, we liked each other but knew it wouldn’t work out cause of our soulmate marks, she was a good friend though.”

I nodded.

“And I don’t know how long I have to live, you know, this serum stuff is still a bit of a mystery.”

“Well, couldn’t you search old records, see if they ever did exist?”

He looked at me intently, searching my face for a minute. The silence was long and tangible, but I didn’t want to break it.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. He shook his head, “It was too painful to think about.”

I smiled at him sadly and stood up, reaching to help him up, “Better to just keep living,” I sighed, “You never really do get over it though.”

“No, not really,” he returned my sad smile, still searching my face. It made me want to hug him, but also disappear at the same time, like he could somehow see more than others could.

I realized I was still holding his hand and I let go, walking towards the door. He returned my little wave as I escaped to the security of my room.

For some reason I felt like crying. Being near him felt so good but I didn’t know how to deal with those feelings, especially with our complicated situations. I felt my eyes burning, but I just washed them away in the shower, breathing deeply to calm my troubled heart.

***

“You look nice today, are you going somewhere?” He asked as he walked into the kitchen.

I was at the counter eating my normal breakfast, this was several weeks after the whole sparring situation, and I had traded out my normal workout/avengers clothes for my favorite normal outfit. I noticed he wasn’t wearing his normal clothes either but had opted out for a tight shirt and sweatpants situation that despite being casual made all of his rather impressive physique even more impressive. I tried to stop staring but couldn’t really.

“Um, yeah. I might meet up with some friends, or not, it kind of depends on whether or not they show up.”

Steve gave me a knowing, sympathetic smile, “I’m sure they will.”

I nodded gratefully and watched him as he made his own breakfast, he reached up to grab something from the cabinets and that’s when I saw it: the starburst soulmate-mark right above his waistband, exactly identical to mine. I choked on my drink and he turned around, and realized his mistake.

I felt my eyes water up, partially because I had just choked on water, and partially at the realization of what was happening.

“YN…” He started.

I shook my head, tears clouding my vision, and ran out of the room. I ran to the service stairwell that no one ever used. I often went there to sing, and to be alone. I just sat down and cried, all of the self-deprecating thoughts I had over the past almost 24 years of my life coming to full realization. I don’t know how long I sat there before I heard the door open.

“YN,” He said.

I tried to silence my crying, and I leaned into the railing, wiping my eyes. I heard him coming down the stairs and stopping close behind me. I turned around with teary eyes to see him sitting a couple steps up. Neither of us talked for a minute.

I calmed my breathing, “You don’t want me,” It would have been better if I had found out if my soulmate was dead rather than to face this reality.

“Can we talk?” He said quietly.

“You had almost a year to talk, Captain, I don’t see how now is the best time,” I gritted my teeth, “I thought we were at least friends, we’ve talked so much—”, I couldn’t continue as I stifled another sob.

He didn’t reply.

“How did you know where to find me?”

I heard him move a step down, “I hear you singing in here sometimes,” He paused. “Plus this is where I come to be alone.”

I nodded still facing my back to him, “I understand why you wouldn’t want me. I wouldn’t want me either.”

“What?”

“I’m weird, I’m awkward, my powers are strange,” I sniffled again and said shakingly. “Is it the way I look, because I can change that. Maybe…” tears were pouring down my face again when he interrupted me.

“YN, no, goodness no. It’s not that.” He came and sat on the step next to me and put a tentative hand on my shoulder.

I stiffened.

“The moment I saw you, I knew. We were made for each other. You were so beautiful, you glowed, you… I don’t even know what to say, I just knew,” He sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” I almost yelled, my voice going up an octave in an ugly, childish way, “You knew I was waiting. Why don’t you want me?” I felt so stupid. There were tears pouring down my face and I felt like begging him to love me, to accept me, like no one had before. I continued to cry, face buried in my hands, looking like a complete idiot in front of the man I loved.

After a minute he spoke, “I’m so old. And you’re so young, and I just figured…”

“What, you figured I didn’t want you?” I scoffed, looking at him incredulously, “Do you have such a low opinion of me?”

He shook his head, “No, I, I, was just scared at first that you would be frightened and by the time I knew you well enough to know what you were like, well, I was afraid of this,” He gestured to the situation.

“Were you just never going to tell me?” I shook his hand off my shoulder.

He sighed again, “No, no, I was going to tell you. I was just trying to find the right time.”

I hugged my knees in closer to my chest and put my face in them. I was so angry, and relieved, and sad all at the same time, I kept sobbing.

“YN, I am so sorry,” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close to him, I didn’t resist, I just started crying into his shirt.

“You’re so stupid,” I managed to get out in a shaky breath.

“I know, I really am,” He held me closer, “I got so mixed up and thought—well, I just don’t have an excuse.”

“So stupid,” I mumbled out again.

“I know,” He brushed the hair out of my face that had become sticky from the tears, “But I love you so much. I’ve been so stupid, but I love you so much,” He held me close again, cradling my head into his shoulder

I tried to steady my breath again, “I’ve loved you since the day we met stupid.”

He chuckled, “I’m glad,” His tone got more serious, “But please, tell me what I can do to make this up to you.”

I pulled back and looked into his eyes. He wiped some of the tears off of my cheek, and held my face, stroking his thumb along my jaw. I leaned my forehead to his and reached my arms around the back of his neck, pulling us closer together. He was looking at my face again, searching it, his eyes lingering a little bit longer on my lips. I felt our breaths mingle together.

“Kiss me?” I whispered.

And he obliged.


	2. You're Not a God (Loki x Reader Drabble)

“You’re not a god,” She stated calmly, looking up from her book.

He felt himself getting angry and snarled, “What do you mean I’m not a god, of course I am!”

She shook her head, “You’re not, neither is your brother or father.”

He was confused now, not angry, he just continued to stare at her.

“You may live longer than us, and be stronger than us, but that doesn’t make you a god,” She shrugged, “Sure, throughout history people have called heroes with inhuman powers ‘gods’ but maybe they just didn’t have a better word for them. They all made far too many mistakes to be qualified as gods in my mind.”

Her face remained placid as she looked at him, unaware of his curiosity.

“What would you call me then?” He asked calmly.

She smiled, “A hero, a man, a person,” she closed her book now, “A being capable of change and improvement just like the rest of us humans,” he stared at the table a moment, then she quietly stood up and walked away, leaving him in thought. 

He was floored, but the smallest of smiles crept onto his face.

It was humbling, for sure, but maybe he didn’t have to be a god. Maybe he could just be a hero like she said, someone who was always trying to be better. He had always scoffed at the mortal condition, but after her words he realized something: it was freeing. 


	3. The Day I Died (Bucky x Reader)

The endgame had been harder than anyone expected. A lot of people were injured but luckily, they had YN to heal them. She had been doing minor healings all throughout the battle when she ran across her teammate at the same time as joining in the fight. Banner had needed a lot of healing, especially after using the Infinity Gauntlet. Then there were countless cuts, burns, twisted joints and other minor injuries that people could fight through, but made it significantly more uncomfortable. That was her job, to help them get through the battle.

A couple more serious injuries had occurred to the Wakanda soldiers and a couple of agents she didn’t know the names of, so after almost 100 minor healings, and 20 major ones she could feel the energy slipping away from her. That is when the enemy started to turn to dust and she leaned against some rubble, smiling faintly. They had won.

“YN,” She heard someone call out.

She turned around and smiled, “Hey James.”

He took one look at her and rushed to her side, “You’ve healed too much, you know you can’t do that.”

“Nice to see you too. It’s not like the last time I saw you, you were the one turning to dust,” She patted him on the shoulder, she tended to get a little loopy after exhausting her powers that much.

He pressed his lips into a tight line, “YN…”

She looked up at him earnestly, “I missed you,” She felt tears coming to her eyes, “I missed you a lot, you have no idea.”

“How many people have you healed?” He said concernedly as she teetered on her feet.

“Didn’t you miss me?” She brushed her hand against his cheek and basically fell into his arms. She giggled, with tears on her face.

He held her up and in a stern voice said, “YN, how many people did you heal?”

She instantly looked guilty, “Lost count.”

“More or less than 70?” He knew that was her general limit.

She paused a second, still a little loopy, and Bucky looked at her expectantly.

“More,” She looked up at him, tears coming to her eyes again.

“You know you can’t do that,” He said.

She looked up at his face and noticed all the cuts and bruises. He was holding a hand to his side where it looked like he had been hurt, “Bucky, you’re hurt.”

“I’m fine.”

She smiled faintly, “Here.”

“No, no, no–” He tried to protest and move away from her but she was too quick.

She put her hand on his cheek and closed her eyes and he instantly felt all of his injuries heal.

“YN, no, you can’t do that,” She collapsed in his arms,“You know I will be fine.”

“I can’t stand to see you in pain,” She whispered smiling, stroking his cheek with her fingers, “I missed you so much.”

“You’ve never pushed yourself this far before.”

“I’ll be ok.”

Bucky stared tearing up, water dropping onto YN’s face. He cradled her as she passed out. He didn’t understand why she had done that, why she had used her last bit of energy to heal him, and he didn’t know if she could come back from healing that many people in one day. She went completely limp as he screamed out for help.

She woke up in a sunny hospital room in an ugly green gown and looked around at her surroundings, slightly dazed. Bucky was sitting in a chair next to her bed, he had fallen asleep in a weird position, but apparently hadn’t decided to try to move. As she shifted in her bed he started, blinking, and looked at her.

“You’re awake.”

She tried to sit up but got dizzy and lay back down, “How long have I been out?”

He had jumped up to be closer to her, “Two days.”

“We won right, I’m not remembering wrong?”

He smiled sadly, “Yeah we won…” He said somberly.

“But?”

“YN, Tony…”

“Tony what?”

He sighed, a couple of tears falling down his face.

“Tony what, Buck?”

“He’s dead.”

She stared at him in shock, “No, he can’t be dead.”

“I’m so sorry,” He sniffed and wiped the tears off his face.

It couldn’t be true. He was Tony Stark, a constant, the one who took care of them all. It couldn’t be true, “How?”

Bucky scooted the chair closer to the bed and sat down again, “He saved the day. He really did, but he used the infinity stones, and you saw what that did to Banner, but you know, Stark was human. He died saving all of us.”

She didn’t speak for a minute, “I should have, I could have…maybe if I were there.”

“You couldn’t have done anything, it would have killed you to heal him.”

“But maybe…”

“Just because you have healing powers, it doesn’t mean you are responsible for everyone,” Bucky took her hand, “Why do you carry all that weight?”

She burst into tears, not being able to handle it all, “I…I just…” Was all she could get out. She tried to pull away from Bucky, but he climbed into the bed next to her and held her close. She wrapped her arms around him and held on as tightly as she could.

When her sobs finally subsided, she started speaking again, “I’m terrified of losing people. When Thanos, when it all happened, I couldn’t do anything. And you were gone, and half of everyone, and I couldn’t do anything. I can’t fight, I’m not like you guys. Healing is the only thing I know how to do, and it couldn’t do anything.”

He wrapped his arms more tightly around her, “Oh hon, you’re so much more than just your powers, you’ve got to know that, don’t you?”

She let out another sob, “I just…I…” She took in a deep breath, “Bucky, I never got to tell you…”

“Tell me what?”

“I never got to tell you that I loved you,” She felt a jolt run though her body and her face heat up, she couldn’t take back those word now, but she didn’t care. Whatever happened.

He was silent for a minute before he shifted back to look in her face, “Yeah?” He smiled.

“Yeah. Thought I might as well tell you,” She shifted away from him, uncertain of what his full reaction would be.

He stared at her, “You look as beautiful as the day I died.”

She felt her face growing warmer, but smiled nonetheless, “It was a terrible day.”

“I am guiltily glad of the fact that I did not have to live for five years without you,” He brushed some hair behind her ear.

“Yeah?” She leaned into his touch.

“’Cause I am so in love with you too YN.”


	4. You Look Tired (Bucky x Reader)

“You look really tired,” I said.

I had walked into the kitchen to refill my water bottle. It was around one o’clock AM and Bucky was sitting at the table with his laptop open, blinking to try to stay awake. I could see in the dim light that he had cleaned up from the mission he was just on, but that he had dark circles under his bloodshot eyes.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” I asked as I turned on the sink.

“I could ask you the same question,” he chuckled and smiled faintly as he replied.

“I got some inspiration, had to write it down. Also, I didn’t go on a super rigorous mission,” I screwed the lid back on my bottle and went to sit next to him at the table, and looked at his computer. “Mission report?”

He nodded.

“You know you don’t have to do those right when you get back, right?”

He nodded again and looked back at his computer, staring blankly but still blinking.

“So… why are you here?” I asked gesturing at him.

He sighed, “I just, I don’t know if I can go to sleep,” he rubbed his eyes and looked away.

I knew that look. I knew him. We could both read each other like and open book after being best friends for a good length of time. From the communication with the team during the mission, everything had gone smoothly, but that expression on Bucky meant something had not sat well with him. Maybe he got another unsettling memory from his time as the Winter Soldier, or maybe something had reminded him of his home. Either way, he was clearly perturbed. He probably didn’t want to dream.

I made sure that everything had saved on his computer, and then I shut it for him softly.

He heard the click and looked up, “Hey—” he started.

“You need sleep Bucky, you’re dead on your feet,” I put his laptop under my arm, grabbed his metal hand in mine and stood up.

He didn’t protest as I led him through the hallway back to his room.

Friday let us in, and I set his laptop on his desk along with my bottle and turned towards him. He looked so beat, but it was also endearing. His eyes were fluttering now, and he had a lazy grin on his face. His hair was all fluffy since he had washed it, and his hand was barely clinging on to mine. I let go and smiled up at him.

“Hey,” I said to get his attention.

“Hmm?”

I brushed some hair back from his face and tucked it behind his ear, “You’re gonna be ok. You need sleep.”

He smiled.

I smiled back at him, and then brought him into a tight hug. I felt him hugging me back and his chin on top of my head.

“You’re very cuddly,” he said absentmindedly.

I giggled and released him. He made a slight noise of protest. I knew he got a little muddled when he was tired, but had never seen him this soft before.

“Are you going?” He asked.

“Yeah Bucky, you need to sleep.” I bit my tongue but still ended up adding, “I’m right next door though, you know if you need anything. Not that you would, but just in case.” Dang, now I was the one babbling.

I tried to guide him towards his room, but he made another noise of protest and wouldn’t budge.

“Stay,” he half-whined.

“What?”

“Stay with me, tonight. You’re very cuddly. I want you to stay,” He set his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

“Bucky, you’re tired, you’re not thinking straight.”

He cocked his head to the side, “Nope.”

“What?” I asked again, even if I tried to move now he had cupped my face in his hand and started holding my hand.

“Come on,” he started dragging me to his bedroom. I felt my heart start beating faster, but I didn’t protest with this sleep-drunk version of Bucky.

He flopped onto the bed.

“Bucky I—” but before I could protest he had pulled me down next to him, giggling profusely.

This was just weird. I started laughing too.

When we stopped, he turned on his side and looked at me seriously, brushing some hair out of my face, “’m sorry. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You can leave if you want to, but I’d like you to stay if you’re ok with it.”

“OK,” I smiled and pulled the blanket over me, “It can be a sleepover.”

“Yay,” he said faintly as he did the same.

He pulled me closer to him with his arm around my waist and tucked his head over mine, and very quickly fell asleep.

I smiled to myself, never imagining this is how I would first fall asleep in the arms of the man I loved.

********

The next morning I awoke a little bit confused to not find myself in my own bed until I remembered what had happened.

Bucky was still next to me, his arm was no longer around me, but we somehow ended up holding hands, and our legs were all tangled in the blankets. He seemed to have awoken before me, and was now staring at me with an undistinguishable expression on his face.

I looked at him, smiling shyly, wondering if he remembered, “Hi.”

He started, “Hi,” he replied, giving me an awkward quick smile, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For this, I guess, I didn’t mean— I don’t know.”

I tried to keep my expression neutral, I didn’t want to seem disappointed that he regretted this. Not that anything serious happened, it was just cuddling, but still.

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then basically facepalmed, just dragging his hand across his face.

I felt my stomach drop in embarrassment, “I’ll go, I’m sorry, I’ll just go.” I made to get out of bed and leave but he held me back.

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

I looked at him confused.

“I just didn’t mean for it to happen this way,” He let out a slow breath.

“Now I really don’t know what you mean,” I said.

He gave a short laugh, “Last night, I guess I was just so tired, and I got so slap-happy that I didn’t know what was going on. I really thought that you helping me to bed and my asking you to stay was some sort of dream.”

“A dream?”

“Yes, well,” he swallowed, “I’ve well, I’ve just liked you for a while now and I haven’t had the courage to do anything about it, so yeah, I thought it was a dream.”

I stared at him, “You like me?”

He nodded, “And you don’t have to like me, or whatever, but I guess at this point I needed to be honest,” He said, chuckling at the whole situation, looking away from me bashfully. I saw him blush, just a little.

“I like you,” I affirmed, grinning and brushing some hair out of his face

“You do?”

“Well I’m here, aren’t I?”

“I guess you are,” He beamed and pulled me as close to him as possible, wrapping me in his arms.

I wrapped my arms around him as well, smiling into his shirt. He turned onto his back so that my head was resting on his chest and pulled the blankets to cover us again.

“Do you mind if we just stay here for a bit?” he asked, playing with my hair.

“How about more than a bit?” I muttered.

He chuckled, “Sounds good to me.”


	5. Mixed Feelings (Bucky Drabble)

Bucky has mixed feelings about his left arm. 

He misses the actual arm. The metal arm can feel and move just like any arm, it’s top-notch technology, but it’s not his arm. It’s a little bit numb, like constantly having slight pins and needles, it’s heavy, and it’s cold. He’s gotten used to it, but it still feels like a gap where a baby tooth used to be, or like a new sofa that’s not quite broken in yet. It’s not him, but it is, and just like all of the memories that he has as his time as the Soldier, he’s coming to terms with it. 

He thinks about where he would be if he didn’t have this arm. Probably dead. As much as he cursed Hydra for ever messing with his body and mind, he was grateful to be alive. It’s not excusing what happened to him, it’s just progress. If you had asked him a year before now, he would have told you that he wished someone had killed him way back when, that he wouldn’t have to have dealt with everything in his past. 

But he doesn’t think like that anymore. 

He wants to be here, he wants to be alive, and even though his past will sometimes break through and give him nightmares, he’s glad he’s breathing. He’s glad he got to see Steve again, even if it was for a short time, he’s glad that there are now people who he can share his experiences with, and he’s glad that he doesn’t want to die anymore. 

He thinks of it as revenge, in a funny way. Whatever Hydra did to him to make him a killing machine, he’s turning it back around. He’s become a protector of earth, of his friends, of the innocent, his arm is no longer used to destroy, but to build. His strength from the serum helps him heal, become ‘Bucky’ again, and he realizes he can give strength to others who’ve had traumatic pasts. 

He’s more forgiving than he used to be, more understanding, and more compassionate despite everything that’s happened. 

His past is part of him, it’s not leaving him, and he’s not denying it, but just like his arm, he didn’t have a choice. He doesn’t ignore the past, he doesn’t accept it, but he does have a healthy relationship with it. He knows what really matters is who he is now, and who he wants to be moving forward. 

His arm reminds him that things change.

It reminds him of what he wants to be. 

Bucky has mixed feelings about his arm, but at least some of those feelings are good now. 


	6. A Second Chance (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky couldn’t really help himself when he saw the dog wandering around the streets. Its coat was ragged, and it looked like it had mange, a couple of its teeth were missing, and one of its eyes was swollen. He got a treat, to try to lure it in, and approached it cautiously, knowing what it was like to feel cornered and lost. 

Hey girl,” He said soothingly, crouching down to its level. It backed away and whimpered. “It’s ok,” he kept saying soothing words for as long as it took for her to inch towards him and cautiously eat the food he had.

“Thatta girl,” He carefully slipped a leash around her neck and waited for her to finish eating. He held the leash slack, and as he expected, she simply followed him wherever he went. This time it was to the vet. She hesitated as she crossed the threshold to the vet’s office, but with some more gentle coaxing from Bucky, she managed to make it. Some of the people around them stared in disgust at the marred features of the dog but Bucky walked directly up to the counter.

“Is this your dog?” The lady at the desk asked, smiling down at her.

“Yes, well, sort of. I just found her,” Bucky shuffled his feet, still feeling a bit awkward about talking with people, especially someone as nice looking as this woman. “I wanted to help,” He glanced at the lady’s name tag, it read Y/N. 

“There have been a lot of strays like this after the snap, but people don’t usually bring them in,” She said taking down a note.

“I’ll pay,” Bucky shrugged his shoulders, “I mean, I want to keep her.”

“Can you follow me to the back?” She gestured towards another set of doors.

He nodded. He stood by the dog the whole time and tried to help her feel calm. While the nice lady looked the swollen eye and other injuries. They gave the dog a nice bath, and prescribed some medicine to help. He smiled to the Y/N on the way out. That was new for him, something that was rediscovered at least.

—

About a month later, the dog was now running happily in a park. It’s golden coat glossy and healthy, and her eye back to normal. They couldn’t do anything about the teeth so whenever she closed her mouth her tongue would still stick out, but it was cute. Bucky threw the ball with his metal arm, the ball going further than ever, and the dog galloped off, springing off the green grass. 

“Is that the same dog?” A lady said from behind Bucky.

He turned around and smiled, “Y/N, right?”

She nodded. 

“Yeah, she looks great, doesn’t she?”

“Amazing.”

“She just needed a second chance,” He looked intently at the dog as it came bounding back to him having fetched the ball. She jumped up and down in anticipation of the next throw, and then stood completely still to watch Bucky throw.

Y/N laughed, “What did you end up naming her?”

He laughed a second. “Stevie, actually. She reminds me of a friend.”

“Was this friend a hyperactive blonde woman?” Y/N laughed again.

“Close, blond man,” Stevie came running back again and Bucky knelt down to scratch her ears, “You may have known him, he was quite famous.”

She glanced from Bucky’s metal arm to the dog and back again, “You’re Bucky?” She asked, realization dawning on her face. 

He nodded and sat down on the grass, Stevie instantly collapsed down next to him, legs up, begging for a belly rub, “You want to sit?”

She sat down next to him and Stevie started prancing around her, and then rested her head in Y/N’s lap. She stroked Stevie’s head, and looked more intently at Bucky, trying to discern his emotions. They weren’t as hidden as the first time she had seen him at the vet’s office. 

“You miss him, don’t you?” She asked.

“Yeah,” He pulled up some grass absentmindedly, “But he had a gal back then, you know how it is.”

“And you didn’t?”

He chuckled “If you can believe it, I used to have quite the following back then. But no, no one special.”

“I can believe it” She smiled sincerely at him.

His head jerked up and he looked into her eyes, blushed slightly and then looked back down, “Not so smooth these days.”

“Well it’s a good thing you’ve got a dog,” Y/N bent down closer to Stevie, “Isn’t that right Stevie?” 

Stevie gave a happy grunt-bark in reply. 

“See, you don’t need to be smooth if you have a dog,” Y/N smiled at Bucky again.

He laughed, “Do you have a dog?”

She shook her head, “Probably also one of the reasons I don’t have a boyfriend.”

He looked surprised again.

“What was that look?”

He shook his head, “I dunno. I guess I just…” He turned a little more pink, “Nevermind.”

“Ok, you can’t do that, now you gotta tell me,” Y/N said, Stevie agreed and nudged Bucky in the knee with her nose, although she was probably just asking for a treat. 

Nervously, he cleared his throat, “Well, I just thought, you know, because you look like that, and you’re nice that you know, that you would have a boyfriend. Or something.”

“Did you just call me pretty?” A smile crept onto Y/N’s face.

This was not his comfort zone and he suddenly looked very uncomfortable, but was still unable to tell a lie, “I, um, I would say beautiful, not pretty.”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to look away bashfully, “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” He paused and then made to get up, “I’m not good at this.”

“Hey, no,” She stood up with him, “Wait, it’s ok,” She scratched the back of her neck, “I’m no good at this either. You know, I spend all my days with animals, sometimes when it comes to human communication it’s sort of weird.”

Stevie was prancing forth between the two of them, wanting some sort of attention, but still not receiving it.

Bucky smiled, and it was one of the most beautiful things in the world. He stood up a little bit taller and somehow seemed a little bit more confident. “Would you want to practice sometime?” He smirked, uncharacteristically 

“Practice what?”

“Human communication,” His smile grew wider.

Y/N giggled, “Now that was smooth.”

Bucky blushed again and looked away, his bravado fading.

“Sounds like plan,” Y/N said. She wrote down her phone number on Bucky’s hand, and started walking away, “I’m only doing this because of your dog, you know.”

He laughed, “Of course you are.”

She turned back again, “I’m not though, I actually really do like you. That was a joke.”

“I know.”

She cringed inwardly at herself and turned away, he waved kindly and knelt down next to Stevie, “You see that, I actually did get a date, you’re an much better wing-man than the original Steve.”


	7. Caring Hands (Bucky x Reader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is from Bucky's pov

She sat on the bed, looking out the window, always staring out the window. Almost unblinkingly. She didn’t respond when anyone talked to her, if I was lucky, I would get a slight glance. But she was my best friend and I wasn’t giving up on her, no matter how far back she had crawled into that psychic mind of hers. It made sense that with all of her powers of telepathy, that she wouldn’t want to interact with the world that she had been exposed to. Nevertheless, I went in there everyday and talked to her, sat on the bed next to her, and just told her about my day. Sometimes I wouldn’t talk at all, but I wanted her to know that I was there for her.

I had been distraught when almost a year before she had gone missing during a mission. Finally, we had received intel on where she was being kept and what she was being used for. I could barely hold myself together when I found her in that small room. She was crouching in a corner and all she had to wear was a nightgown that was now several sizes too big on her. The only other thing in the room was a bed with shackles attached to it.

When I came into the room, she didn’t even look at me, she just held out her arms as if I would grab them, and when I didn’t, she tilted her head up and stared at me. Her eyes were empty, and she didn’t seem recognize me.

What had this man put her through?

I crouched down next to her and tried to control my tears “YN, it’s ok now. He’s gone.”

She didn’t reply, just stared off in a different direction.

Closer to her, I realized that bruises dotted her skin almost everywhere I could see. There was an especially large one on her chin. Her wrists and ankles were raw. I fought back a sob. “I’m gonna get you out of here ok?” I moved my hand slowly towards her shoulder and she didn’t even flinch when my metal fingers made contact with her skin. I slowly helped her to her feet.

She followed us, and did whatever we told her too, and the only time she stopped was a short moment to look down at dead body of the man who had trapped her. After looking at him for a moment she crouched down and touched the man’s hand, she looked back up at me with those empty eyes, and then continued to move forward. It scared me how much she had changed from her former, stubborn self. I wanted my friend back.

It was in the second month of her return that I started to get more response out of her. If I said something that was funny, she would look at me and the smallest of smiles would appear on her beautiful face. Her eyes were no longer clouded and empty, but she still did not seem to recognize me.

One day I was talking to her about Wakanda, and how I had gotten some upgrades to my arm there. “For a long while, I didn’t want to wear it. It’s a weapon you know, I didn’t want that on me. But it sure is a hell of a lot easier to tie my shoelaces.” I chuckled.

I saw that small smile appear on her face, but she stayed silent as always. I looked out the window we were facing onto the busy streets of the city. Taxi’s stood out like yellow fish in the stream of traffic, and the people looked like little minnows skirting around the larger fish that were other cars.

“My mom always told me that hands are made for caring.”

I spun my head to look at her, not believing that is was her who spoke, but she wasn’t finished so I stayed dead silent with my mouth slightly open.

“Your hand wasn’t made for that.” She looked at me for a long moment. “His hands weren’t gentle.” She looked away, out the window again for a second and then turned back to me “But yours is, even though it was made to be a weapon.” She reached out her hand and set it atop my metal one.

“YN?” Tears started to fall from my eyes.

“Don’t cry Bucky.” She shifted slightly closer to me and wiped away my tears. Her powers seemed to be working again as she answered my unasked question. “James Buchanan Barnes, how could I forget you, my best friend?” She didn’t smile but I could hear the fondness in her voice.

“I…I…” I couldn’t get my words out.

This time she did smile. “Thanks for not giving up on me. It took me a while to find my way back.”

“Do you remember everything?”

It was her eyes that filled with tears this time, and she looked down at our now clasped hands. “Yes.”

As I saw her tears start to fall, I pulled her into a hug and it felt good to have her warmth near me again, her head resting on my chest. I scooped her up in my arms and shifted around so that I could lean into the pillows on her bed, and I held her for as long as she needed to cry. My metal arm was on her back, so I traced circular patterns where I could, maybe somehow it would calm her.

Her crying did subside eventually, but I still held on to her.

“I’m not going to be back to normal for a long time.” She whispered into my chest.

“It’s a good thing you were never that normal to begin with.” I chuckled, and she did too.

“I know, but I am serious.” She tilted her head to look me in the eyes and looked scared of how I would react.

I smiled at her in what hopefully looked like a comforting smile. “I’ll be here for every second of it.”

She smiled and buried her face back in my chest. “I love you James.”

“I know hon.” I couldn’t help but feel tears of happiness prick at my eyes. “I love you too, no matter what.” I had her back in my arms and I would never have to let go again. She was back, and no matter what that entailed, that was the most important thing.


End file.
